Well, you don’t. The word ,,loser” was probably invented by those who were already placed in a higher and comfortable social situation that gave them permision to act with arrogance and disrespect towards others that were less fortunate.
In other therms the word ,,loser” like every other thing in the world can have also a personal interpretation but it also has a socialy accepted definition, that remained very close to the basic meaning -the one gived from a place of arrogance and disrespect like I first mentioned.
Even so what really makes someone a loser is…
- Not being happy with who they are
Happiness is such a relative concept you would say, but I am not talking about the general hapiness. I am talking about being satisfied with what we see every morining in the mirror, the point in which we find ourselfs in life, our values, the people that surround us, does everything fit? Deep down if we are not in harmony with our beliefs, our job, or decisions the happiness and self worth is just a dream that never becomes true.
2. Giving up
Once someone decides ”this is how it should be…” they are kind of f***ed. In most cases there aren’t obstacles in our way because ,,this is how it should be” so we have a motivation to do nothing and stop going forward in life – they are there so we can overcome them, grow and move forward.
3. Living for the moment
When people live for the moment – they forget to see things in perspective. It’s okay to go with the flow sometimes, but doing it often keeps us away from seing the big picture and having a direction in life.
4. Putting others before themselfs
Being helpful and empatic is good. But when it’s too much and to often, things go wild. People can get tired, ill, or even forget about what they have to do just for pleasing others. It’s ok to be nice, but the boss wont make a statue for our extra hours, and extra money is useless if they only pay extra medicines or only bills. Don’t let yourself be used.
5. Supporting drama
Responding to or getting involved in fights and never finishing arguments just for the sake of having an opininion or for pissing people off is not healthy. Atleast not for our social relationships and personal peace. Even in a love relationship no one appreciates a kind of person that always looks for a reason to argue. Getting detached of this things, give us more peace of mind and time to think about what is really important in life.
6. Not having (high) goals
Talking and talking about what we want, without doing anything to achieve it won’t take us anywhere. We will be in the exact same place in 6 months, a year or 5 years from now. On the other hand if you set small goals you will get small results or no results. Think big! Set high goals and obtaing better results – Remember Mark Twain ( if I’m not wrong) said – ” the problem with people is not that they fail but that they set small goals and achieve them”. Talk less and do more.
7. Having fear
Now, fear is not a bad thing in fact. The problem is when we let it manifest inside us and let it stop us to become our best versione, leaving all the 6 points I have mentioned above, behind and trying to live life in better conditions. Fear is meant to be overcomed and be a guide towards wisdome and self development.
Concluding, being a loser is not a one way road. Someone can have all the succes and money and love in the world and have the most awsome friends and a great social environment and still be a loser if he threats homeless people bad, for example. And we all go along the way through one or more of this 7 phases, but that is exactly the point – they have to be phases, stepping stones towards a better version of us and not end roads in our humble existance. We need to live being aware that life is more than we can see in a first hand situation.
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